Oo...GG

Everyone always has that crazy great grandma who gives you the funniest stories to tell your friends. So I am sure you know where I am going with this...I have the great grandma of all great grandma's, but we just call her GG. This lady can be so intimidating, one of my first crazy memories of GG was when my cousin and I had been visiting her at her home, and my cousin said a cuss word, and the fact that she was only 6 years old and using cuss words really made GG mad when she heard it. However I hadn’t realized that GG had entered the room and heard my cousin say this word until I turned around to see my GG hitting my cousin in the back of the neck with her cane.

In GG’s older years she has really become senile, GG has had 3 birds who have all died, and which all were given the name Mickey by my GG. Our family makes the joke that the name is cursed. One afternoon GG was over at my grandmother’s home, and my grandmother has a bird named Joey. While sitting at the dinner table I proceeded to watch GG look at Joey and say “Joey, I called you Mickey for a week and you liked it.” It took all I had not to laugh and pray that Joey wouldn’t soon die. Later that night I saw that GG was having a slice of cake before dinner, and since this is something I know that I would get in trouble for doing, I asked GG why she was having dessert before dinner, and she replied, “Im on a hunger strike, I only eat enough to get me through the day.” Once again I held back tears of joy, I didn’t understand why if she were striking against hunger she would stop eating, it was completely contradictory.

The next summer I went down to visit my grandmother, the stories seemed to get funnier. My aunt, GG’s daughter, had taken GG to look at an Old Folks Home that my aunt wanted her to live in. At their arrival at the home my GG had taken one look at the people sitting outside the place and said, “they look like Jackasses” Since GG did not want to be taken to a home she made up the only excuse which she found applicable at the moment. A few days later GG was over at my grandmother’s house and my sister and I were watching a TV show called “What not to wear” as we were watching it, out of the blue, GG says “ That girl looks like a jackass” This time I don’t think either my sister or I could hold back our laughter, she was so crazy, there was clearly no reason for GG to be calling this lady a Jackass, and so we found it hilarious.

This weekend when my grandmother came to visit she filled me in on the latest GG stories. GG had apparently overdosed on some medicine the hospital had given her and so she started hallucinating, which meant that at 4 in the morning she was calling numbers off of the front of the phone book and telling the people that there was a midget and a tall person in her apartment trying to murder her, and that there was a man in her bed. The cops showed up and found GG wandering in the parking lot, hiding from these people who did not even exist. It’s sad to say but my GG is definitely losing it, at least I know I will have some great stories to tell about her.